Karine Ste-Marie

ENG version lower :)                                                                                                                                    29 septembre 2025

Une nuit en tipi

Il faisait froid. Le feu crépitait doucement derrière moi. J’étais traversée par un mélange de fatigue, d’inconfort mais aussi de révérence et de joie. Alors j’ai cessé d’analyser. J’ai décidé de faire taire mon mental actif, d’accepter que ce que j’étais venue faire : un travail intérieur profond et inconfortable, mais d’une beauté sans mots. J’étais là pour simplement Être. Exister.

Là, emmitouflée de la tête aux pieds dans un heureux amalgame de manteaux, de foulards et de couvertures, fixant la toile et le ciel étoilé. C’était ma première nuit en tipi. Nuit d’équinoxe. Nous étions peu nombreux — en fait, il n’y avait que moi et mes hôtes — et malgré mon malaise à l’arrivée, je me sentais bien. Soutenue. Protégée.

Après une purification énergique dans la hutte de sudation, le travail se poursuivait toute la nuit, endormie ou éveillée. Dormir presque à même le sol, méditer, prier, chanter… tout en veillant au bord du feu, dans un espace hors du temps.

Un chien berger gardait l’entrée du tipi, prenant son travail au sérieux, comme seul un maître spirituel sait le faire. Les poules se taisaient au fur et à mesure que la nuit avançait. Dans l’inconfort d’un silence qui me renvoyait à mon malaise existentiel, la gratitude a fini par se frayer un chemin, jusqu’à absorber complètement l’inconfort et le froid. « C’est comme ça qu’on devrait vivre » : cette phrase m’a hantée toute la nuit… et depuis.

Encore aujourd’hui, je ferme les yeux dans le confort de mon lit et j’entends ce feu crépiter. Je sens son doux parfum, entretenu toute la nuit par le grand gardien du feu. Mon âme voudrait rester là, dans la simplicité du moment, elle y retourne sans cesse la nuit tombée. Loin des soucis d’argent, du coût exorbitant de la vie au Canada, des ventes de billets, de l’auto-promotion sans fin, du stress de la gestion d’une entreprise, de l’insatisfaction qui me ronge. Juste là, à exister. Juste là, à être. Pourquoi l’être humain doit-il travailler si fort pour gagner sa vie ? La vie, ce n’est pas gratuit ? Une terre et un tipi, ça ne devrait pas coûter des milliers.

Il y a tant de beauté au cœur de la nuit. J’ai entendu les créatures de la forêt s’éveiller. J’ai contemplé le ciel constellé d’étoiles, dépourvu de nuages, et j’ai ressenti son immensité. Puis dans le silence, j’ai pleuré. Ce désir — non, ce BESOIN — de revenir à la Terre est si fort. Je ne pourrai jamais revivre en ville, je ne peux plus retourner à celle que je croyais avoir été. Nous ne sommes pas conçus pour être entourés de béton. Le message fut clair, presque violent. J’appartiens à la forêt, à la mer, à la montagne sacrée. Le jaguar en moi est prêt à accueillir sa médecine pour la partager. IX doit vivre le deuil de ne pouvoir enfanter dans ce monde dépourvu de sens. Cette mère ne pourra que se materner. Que se cache-t-il d’autre dans le silence et l’obscurité derrière nos yeux fermés ?

L’acceptation est mon nouvel allié. Le chemin du cœur, qui devrait être si simple, a connu trop de remous. À flotter en mer pendant tant d’années, mon cœur en a la nausée. Silence. Pause. Respire. Laisse la tempête te traverser. Puis, lorsque l’accalmie se pointera enfin, ajuste la direction du chemin que tu as emprunté.

Reviens à la simplicité. La nature t’appelle. Fais taire les voix qui t’ordonnent sans cesse de FAIRE. Apprends à vivre, apprends à ÊTRE, à exister.

Karine xx

P.S. En cosmologie maya, chacun de nous naît avec une énergie qui façonne son destin et sa personnalité. La mienne est le nawal IX. IX, c’est le Jaguar, l’esprit de la Terre Mère, la force qui combat ses peurs et traverse la jungle sans peur dans l’obscurité de la nuit. 

___

A Night in the Tipi 

It was cold. The fire crackled softly behind me. I was overcome by a mixture of fatigue and discomfort, but also by a soft feeling of reverence and joy. So I stopped analyzing. I decided to quiet my active mind and accept what I had come to do: a deep, uncomfortable night of inner work, yet one of indescribable beauty. I was there simply to be. To exist.

Wrapped from head to toe in a happy mix of coats, scarves, and blankets, gazing at the fabric and the starry sky—it was my first night in a tipi. The equinox night. There were very few of us—just me and my hosts—and despite my unease upon arrival, I felt good. Supported. Protected.

After an energetic cleanse in the sweat lodge, the work continued through the night, whether asleep or awake. Sleeping humbly almost on the ground, meditating, praying, singing… all while tending the fire, in a space outside of time.

A shepherd dog guarded the entrance of the tipi, taking its task seriously, as only a spiritual master can. The chickens grew silent as the night advanced. In the discomfort of a silence that reflected my existential crisis, gratitude eventually carved its way through, until it completely absorbed the discomfort and the cold. “This is how life should be lived”—this phrase haunted me all night… and still does.

Even today, I close my eyes in the comfort of my bed and hear that fire crackle. I smell its gentle aroma, tended all night by the great guardian of the fire. My soul wants to remain there, in the simplicity of the moment, and it keeps returning there each night in my dreams. Far from financial worries, the exorbitant cost of living in Canada, ticket sales, endless self-promotion, the stress of running a business, the dissatisfaction of most aspects of my life gnawing at me. Just there, existing. Just there, being. Why must humans work so hard to earn a living? Isn’t life supposed to be free? Why does something we're born into have to be earned? A piece of land and a tipi shouldn’t cost thousands. (hundreds of thousands - thank you Canada).

There is so much beauty at the heart of the night. I heard the creatures of the forest awaken. I gazed at the cloudless, star-studded sky and felt its vastness. Then, in the silence, I cried. That desire—no, that NEED—to return to the Earth is so strong. I could never live in the city again; I can no longer return to the person I thought I was. We are not meant to be surrounded by concrete. The message was clear, almost violent. I belong to the forest, to the sea, to the sacred mountain. The jaguar within me is ready to embrace its medicine and share it. IX must grieve not being able to give birth in this senseless world. This mother can only mother herself. What else hides in the silence and darkness behind our closed eyes?

Acceptance is my new ally. The path of the heart, which should be so simple, has encountered too much turbulence. Having drifted at sea for so many years, my heart is nauseous. Silence. Pause. Breathe. Let the storm pass through you. Then, when calm finally arrives, adjust the course of the path you’ve taken.

Return to simplicity. Nature is calling you. Silence the voices that constantly command you to DO. Learn to live, learn to BE, to exist.

Karine xx

P.S. In Mayan cosmology, each of us is born with an energy that shapes our destiny and personality. Mine is the nawal IX. IX is the Jaguar, the spirit of Mother Earth, the force that confronts its fears and moves through the jungle fearlessly in the darkness of night.

English translation lower :)                                                                                                          14 septembre 2025, SADL

Sonothérapie, bain sonore ou concert méditatif : lequel est fait pour toi?

On entend souvent parler de sonothérapie : une approche où le praticien utilise les sons et vibrations d’instruments thérapeutiques pour rétablir l’harmonie dans le corps et l’esprit. Ces soins sont offerts en séances généralement individuelles et personnalisées par un praticien qualifié et certifié. On peut travailler sur le système nerveux, les émotions, les centres d’énergie (chakras) ou encore les méridiens reliés à certains organes. Le praticien choisit ses instruments (bols himalayens, diapasons, tambours, etc.) selon les besoins de la personne et applique des protocoles précis pour accompagner une libération douce et sécuritaire.

Mais alors, quelle est la différence entre une séance de sonothérapie et un bain sonore?

Un bain sonore est une expérience collective, immersive et méditative. Les participants s’allongent confortablement et se laissent envelopper par les vagues sonores dans un espace calme et bienveillant. L’objectif n’est pas d’agir sur une problématique précise, mais plutôt d’induire un état de détente profonde, d’apaiser le mental et de favoriser la reconnexion à soi.

Les effets varient d’une personne à l’autre : certains vivent un état de rêve éveillé, d’autres ressentent des libérations émotionnelles, des tremblements, ou encore des visions symboliques. Il arrive que des souvenirs refassent surface… et il arrive aussi que certains participants s’endorment! L’ultime détente, quoi 😌. J’aime d’ailleurs dire à la blague que oui, on peut dormir pendant un bain sonore si le corps en a besoin… mais que ça fait une sieste qui coûte un peu chère!

Quoi qu’il en soit, chaque voyage sonore permet d’alléger le corps et l’esprit, laissant une sensation d’équilibre et de clarté.

Et qu’en est-il du concert méditatif ou immersif?

Celui-ci est offert par les praticiens qui sont également musiciens. On peut y intégrer des chants de musique médecine, des mantras, des instruments plus complexes. Le but demeure le même : faire du bien par la musique. Mais contrairement à la sonothérapie, le concert méditatif cible moins le rétablissement d’un équilibre précis et se veut davantage une expérience globale de bien-être. Chant, danse, libération, contemplation, joie… tout peut y trouver sa place!

Alors, quelle expérience choisiras-tu?
👉 Consulte mon calendrier d’événements pour trouver celle qui te correspond, ou contacte-moi pour réserver un soin sonore en privé.

/concerts-evenements

Avec amour,

Karine

Sound Therapy, Sound Bath, or Meditative Concert: Which One Is Right for You?

We often hear about sound therapy: an approach where the practitioner uses the sounds and vibrations of therapeutic instruments to restore harmony in the body and mind. These treatments are usually offered in one-on-one, personalized sessions with a qualified and certified practitioner. Work can be done on the nervous system, emotions, energy centers (chakras), or meridians connected to specific organs. The practitioner chooses instruments (Himalayan bowls, tuning forks, drums, etc.) according to the person’s needs and applies precise protocols to support a gentle and safe release.

But then, what’s the difference between a sound therapy session and a sound bath?

A sound bath is a collective, immersive, and meditative experience. Participants lie down comfortably and let themselves be enveloped by sound waves in a calm and caring space. The goal isn’t to target a specific issue, but rather to induce deep relaxation, soothe the mind, and encourage reconnection with oneself.

The effects vary from person to person: some experience a dreamlike state, others feel emotional releases, trembling, or symbolic visions. Sometimes memories resurface… and sometimes participants simply fall asleep! The ultimate relaxation 😌. I often joke that yes, you can sleep during a sound bath if your body needs it—but it might end up being a rather expensive nap!

Either way, each sound journey helps lighten the body and mind, leaving a sense of balance and clarity.

And what about a meditative or immersive concert?

This one is offered by practitioners who are also musicians. It can include medicine songs, mantras, or more complex instruments. The intention remains the same: to bring healing through music. But unlike sound therapy, the meditative concert is less about restoring a precise balance and more about offering an overall experience of well-being. Singing, dancing, release, contemplation, joy… all have their place!

✨ So—which experience will you choose?
👉 Check my event calendar to find the one that speaks to you, or contact me to book a private sound session.

/concerts-evenements

With love,

Karine

English version lower :)                                                                                                               10 septembre, SADL, Québec

Le pouvoir du silence 

On le sait, en 2025, la vie nous pousse constamment à rester en état d’alerte, le système nerveux suractivé, prêt à fuir, combattre ou se figer. Le stress est partout. Et plus on nous répète qu’il est mauvais, plus il est facile de tomber dans le piège : « Je n’ai pas le temps ni l’énergie de faire ce qui pourrait me détendre ! »

Assez.

Le monde ne changera pas pour nous. Les obligations, les urgences, les écrans et notifications sans fin, tout semble vouloir nous aspirer dans un tourbillon de stress. Mais nous pouvons décider de poser nos limites et de changer notre rapport à l’énergie que nous donnons aux autres et à nous-mêmes.

Petit à petit, par de simples rituels, nous pouvons nous reconnecter à notre souffle, à notre corps et à notre calme intérieur. Une respiration lente, un étirement, une promenade en nature. Chaque petit geste compte.

J’ai appris que trop parler, trop répondre, trop expliquer, vide notre réservoir. Nous partageons, répétons, nous justifions… et nous oublions la chose la plus essentielle pour conserver notre énergie : se taire! Le silence, si rare, est pourtant essentiel.

Le silence nous permet :

• De nous ressourcer et de recharger notre énergie.
• De laisser notre esprit s’apaiser et accueillir la clarté.
• D’écouter notre intuition et de recevoir des réponses que le bruit empêche.
• D’être pleinement présents, même avec les autres, sans se perdre dans le flot des paroles.

Avez-vous déjà marché en forêt sans parler, ou partagé un moment avec quelqu’un en silence ? Ces instants nous reconnectent à nous-mêmes et à ce qui compte vraiment.

Le silence n’est pas vide, il est plein. Plein de calme, de force et de créativité. Moins nous parlons pour rien, plus nous faisons de place pour l’essentiel. J’adore faire mes rituels avec mon cacao cérémonial sans parler. J’écoute souvent une musique calme et douce, parfois je danse au rythme d’une musique plus colorée, mais dans chaque rituel, j’éteins mes notifications, je ferme la technologie non-nécessaire et je me connecte à mon monde intérieur. Ce silence a transformé ma vie, et lorsque j’oublie de m’accorder plusieurs moments de silence au cours de la semaine, mon corps me sonne une petite cloche d’anxiété que je remercie de me faire remarquer, puis je m’accorde un moment de silence. Ne laissez pas couler votre énergie vitale hors de vous. Rappelez-vous qu’on ne peut rien partager avec les autres si on a rien à donner. Remplissez votre propre coupe d’énergie jusqu’à ce qu’elle déborde. Reculez-vous des drames et de ce qui vous draine. 

Faites taire le bruit. Reprenez votre souffle. Reprenez votre vie.

Avec Amour, 

Karine xx

///// ENGLISH 

The Power of Silence 

We know that in 2025, life constantly pushes us to stay on high alert, our nervous system overactivated, ready to flee, fight, or freeze. Stress is everywhere. And the more we’re told it’s bad, the easier it is to fall into the trap: “I don’t have the time or energy to do what could help me relax!”
Enough.

The world won’t change for us. Obligations, emergencies, endless screens and notifications—they all seem determined to pull us into a whirlwind of stress. But we can choose to set our boundaries and change how we relate to the energy we give to others and to ourselves.

Little by little, through simple rituals, we can reconnect with our breath, our body, and our inner calm. A slow breath, a stretch, a walk in nature… Every small gesture matters.

I’ve learned that talking too much, responding too much, explaining too much, drains our reservoir. We share, repeat, justify… and forget the most essential thing for preserving our energy: being silent! Silence, so rare, is nevertheless vital.

Silence allows us to:

• Recharge and restore our energy;
• Calm our minds and welcome clarity;
• Listen to our intuition and receive the answers that noise blocks;
• Be fully present, even with others, without getting lost in the flow of words.
•  

Have you ever walked in a forest without speaking, or shared a moment in silence with your favourite person, just sitting there, existing? These moments reconnect us to ourselves and what truly matters.

Silence is not empty. It is full—full of calm, strength, and creativity. The less we speak for no reason, the more room we make for what truly matters. I love doing my ceremonial cacao rituals in silence. I often listen to soft, calming music, sometimes I dance to more colorful rhythms, but in every ritual, I turn off notifications, close unnecessary technology, and connect to my inner world.

This silence has transformed my life. And when I forget to give myself these moments during the week, my body rings a little bell of anxiety that I thank for making me aware, and then I allow myself a moment of silence.

Don’t let your vital energy leak away. Remember, you can’t give to others what you don’t have to give. Fill your own cup of energy until it overflows. Step back from dramas and anything that drains you.

Silence the noise. Reclaim your breath. Reclaim your life.

With love,

Karine  xx

May 22nd, 2022 , Ste-Anne-des-Lacs, Quebec

Ever get to the point where you are so over it all that you just know something’s gotta change? Let me ruin your moment here with this unfortunate spoiler alert: nothing has to chance except for YOU. You got yourself into this mess just as I did and you’re the only one who can get yourself out of it…BUT, you as I can ask for Divine help… Let me diver deeper into this for a moment… 

I’m sitting in bed with no electricity, it’s been over 36 hours and there aren’t any signs of it returning any time soon… Yet instead of indulging in the beauty of this candlelit peaceful moment, I’ve been having an anxiety attack and eating all the worse processed foods you can think of, which I’m ashamed to say I used to binge eat for years before cleaning up my act. (Yep, this wannabe vegan has trouble keeping it clean and organic sometimes but that’s a whole other childhood story). So here I am binging away. I gotta tell you, it’s not a pretty picture. It’s an old habit I thought I’d gotten rid of thanks to yoga, mindfulness and meditation, yet as I’m stressed and pondering questions like “where on Earth do I want to be in this life and if I'm on the right path, why am I still living in some guy's basement”, I’m sitting here with a big angry belly absolutely in shock at this violent attack after being kind to it for so long and I’m thinking: here we go again, WTF, why can’t I just DEAL with my emotions like a nun or a monk or an emotionally healthy person would do? Why is it so hard? 

Well, cause we’re not monks or nuns and quite frankly most of us have not learned to be emotionally healthy until we were well into adulthood… We live out here in the big bad world and we have to deal with constant stress and disappointment every day and it gets heavy love, mainly if you’re a perfectionist, I hear you. But how we deal with the constant pressures of this world is also our choice…It’s our choice alone. 

I’ve been hiding behind Netflix for a while not wanting to have this talk with myself. How have you been avoiding your existential crisis? We can use many techniques including alcohol, drugs, entertainment, social media, tv (Netflix), sex, food, extensive sports, all sorts of outlets to numb the pain we absolutely don’t want to feel… So much so that we begin to forget it’s actually even there. We forget where it lies in our body as we simply disconnect until we don’t feel it anymore, as it grows beneath the surface. 

So tonight, after my disgraceful binging episode, I picked out an oracle card and heard the message so loud and clear that my entire body trembled as an electric-type shock went through my heart space. KALI, the Goddess of transformation reached out for me to call upon her. Think of Kali as the mother who loves you so much that she knows when you need tough love. She can cut things completely from your life to put you back on track. It is said not to invoke Kali unless you are absolutely ready for change, cause the change might not be gentle, but will ultimately bestow its blessings upon your life…But you know…with a good kick in the butt first! 

I wish to share with you the automatic writing that came through to me after pulling out her card and creating a ritual invoking and celebrating her with fire. 

_____

Kali, I shall celebrate you, Divine Mother, along with the changes and storms of deep transformation like death and rebirth that you represent, for I must be born again. Like the snake, it is time for me to shed new skin. I call upon you Mother for this process is never-ending. I am willing to accept its cyclic nature therefore I shall humbly bow down to your command and accept a new stage of deep transformation in my life. 

“Burn it all away, Kali, burn it all away. If it doesn’t serve us, then burn it all away”… 

I am ready, oh great MOTHER to cry, to scream, to release and let go all of my past and present. I am ready to dance with my beating drum to the rhythm of the winds of change you carry. I will look deeply and fearlessly into the fire and let it take away old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve me. I shall rejoice and sing, knowing that in your presence, I am constantly born again. 

Invoking Kali is like finally saying “FUCK IT!” after you’ve been holding on for too long. Holding on to a habit, to a way of being, an idea, a person, a job, a home, a friend, love affair, a dream or anything that is now hindering your growth and no longer meant for you. You must make space and empty out the closet before filling it up with beautiful new garments. Kali will help you make that necessary space. Invoking her is like ripping off the band-aid and allowing your wound to breathe, preparing or the last phases of healing to begin, freely. She will bring you where you need to be if you truly SURRENDER and accept Her way. Remember she is doing this out of Love FOR you. Sometimes, we must walk through the darkness to reach the brightest light. Explore your shadows dear one, sit with the pain without numbing it, dive deep into yourself and observe the root cause of all your suffering and then, just as Mother Kali kisses your forehead, exhale and let everything go! You are here right now. That is all you need. TRUST. 

To reach your highest potential and get to the best, you must let go of what isn’t, no matter how difficult it is to abandon. Once you’ve let go of your fears and faced the ways in which you are holding yourself back and keeping yourself small, you can start claiming and bringing in all that was truly meant to you. What belongs to you by Divine Right as a child of the Great One. 

“Bring it all in, Kali, bring it all in. If it’s gonna serve us then bring it all in”. 

Observe. Surrender. Heal. Transform… 

With love, 

Karine xx

Photo credit: Julien André Mégoz (used under authorization) 

Monastère des Augustines, Quebec City, May 5, 2022

I’ve always been the type to avoid having problems. I’ve never enjoyed confrontation, I mean who does? So, I silently up and run, like…. Regularly. Always in a sudden, unpredictable way, which for those who are close to me eventually became pretty predictable. It’s quite obvious, I can’t stay in place, mainly when discomfort arrives. 

These past 26 months have forced me to sit with myself in silence and to observe my behaviours. It’s become quite the positive obsession, this observation of my actions, thoughts and emotions recently, as I, like many, feel the urge to rise to my full potential in order to help as many people as possible. But this help, we must first give it to ourselves. Self-awareness has become the most beautiful gift I could offer to both myself and those around me. 

These past years have been jam packed with difficulties and challenges. I have returned to my country, after traveling and escaping for almost a decade, and this time, I can’t leave. Not yet. The biggest challenge I have faced is to simply be here, to stay and to silence the urge to up and walk, run, fly, or sail away again. I have had panic attacks after dates, I have cried in the middle of sex for no apparent reason, I’ve had one too many shower meltdowns and a few moments of light road rage. I have never felt so confronted to myself. And this time, I cannot run!! 

One of my swift attempts to run away from obligation and a “normal” life was in the summer of 2020. I moved to Quebec City with my dog, wanting to experience its architectural beauty, the richness of the nature surrounding it and well, after a few months of being under lockdown lets face it, people! I took a leap of faith, found an expensive but beautiful and authentic place to stay in the old town near the port, and I started my sound healing journey. It was all great for about 3 months until we went into lockdown again and a suffering young soul went into my neighborhood on Halloween and violently killed and injured people on the streets with a gigantic Japanese sword. Say what? 

I was supposed to be out walking my dog that night, as I did daily, but I had an internet connection issue and my full moon meditation video took 2 hours to upload, so I was “stuck” home, safe with Bebop, my furry friend. 

When a client called to tell me to lock up and stay indoors, that the killer was on the run nearby, I went into full shock mode. I did not sleep a wink that night, even after we were told he had rendered himself a few meters down from my place. 

The next morning, there were more sirens, yet another fire nearby. It was the second fire in a week. And so, I planned yet another escape. I paid for the full month and moved out within the week, not allowing myself the time to grieve or process this trauma, which no one understood, because I obviously hadn’t been “hurt”. So I packed it all in while packing up my stuff for a new adventure back to my parents’ house before heading to Guatemala for 4 months. 

Yesterday, I came back to this city, for the second time since that unfortunate event. Last time, I was so busy that I had no time to even think about it, but this morning, I attended a meditative walk and when I reached the place where it had all happened, I burst into tears. I finished the group walk and sat in silence in a chapel. Not even praying, simply observing my inner state. I then left and returned to the sight of my old apartment, one street down. I walked the path I used to walk with Bebop and went back to the park where we would play catch every day. When I got to the park and saw that the grass area where he used to run had been paved, once more, a flood of tears rushed down my face as I realized: it’s really the end. Bebop is gone. He passed away last summer and although I’ve cried many tears of guilt since (I had to put him down), I hadn’t cried tears of sorrow for the best friend that had now left this earth plane 11 months ago. He had been there for me almost 14 years, throughout my entire adulthood, changing homes at least 12 times, always adapting quickly and coming along for the ride! And now he’s gone. Yes, it’s been a while, but my memories of him and I here in Quebec City are so vivid, that the tears cannot seem to stop. 

Tears are the most cleansing waters, they say… 

And so here I am, letting it all out… Years of running away, now being faced to confront it all. Shedding layers of myself, time and time again, like the snake shedding its old skin. We don’t just die once. Parts of us die all the time… And new parts are born and bloom into their spring as well… But ultimately, no matter where we run to, the process will happen. 

As I now find myself in a state of contemplation and silence, journaling at Monastère des Augustines, a renovated nun monastery dating from 1639 or so, I can see the light at the end of this really long emotional tunnel. Ever since the world forever changed on my birthday in March 2020, I have been forced to deepen and strengthen my meditation practice, as life has taken away every part of who I thought I was and practically everything I loved. The career, the trips, the ships, the friends, the lifestyle – oh God that lifestyle- the trust, the illusion, all the labels, gone in a flash! Maybe it’s been like that for you too… 

As I was crying in the now half-paved park, observing an ever-changing world, the progress I have made hit me. Since inviting meditation, yoga and sound practice at the heart of my life, every one of these highly emotional episodes or fits I through myself were done in absolute awareness. I have observed my thoughts, let the emotions fully wash over me and then figured out what the root cause of this anger, sadness or anxiety was, while succeeding every single time…for the past 2 years! How amazing is that?! Yes, I still get these moments where I do not feel in control, because you know what? I’m not! No one is! Life will play itself out… You can ask for what you want and go ahead and take full action to make it happen, but ultimately, once that’s done, you must surrender to the flow of the universe and I swear, your life will start to feel like it was divinely orchestrated, because, dear one, it was… 

That’s what acceptance is. That’s how you let go. That’s how you move on and deal with an incessant process of death and rebirth, because it’s how the universe works. Just look at nature and its seasons and you will see that ultimately, everything is always perfect. The journey isn’t about never being angry again or never being sad. It’s about being fully present during the process. Be fully angry when you’re upset! Cry your eyes out until your head hurts when you’re sad. Stop pushing things down, brushing them away or RUNNING away… Go ahead and confront your problems, now! Go talk to your boss, have the uncomfortable conversation with your mother, or your partner, or that annoying co-worker or that bitchy waitress who always gives you attitude… Maybe she needs a friend under all that sass! Make the call, set down some roots and find your tribe if you are so called to do so. Or travel, and learn about the world if it's calling you right now… Be present and self-aware in everything you do. State your truth with courage and the silent strength of knowing that ultimately, everything will be alright. Everything comes to an end, the good and the bad. It’s the Buddhist concept of impermanence. Let things wash through you because, this too shall pass….

Tikal, Guatemala, April 10, 2021 

During my last few days in Guatemala, my housemate asked me if I wanted to join her in attending a Bobinzana and Hand Pan Session. Not knowing what Bobinzana was but trusting my housemate completely, I happily accepted, as I wanted to make the most of my remaining time at the Lake. 

Those of you who know me know I’ve never even smoked weed or a cigarette. I’m not a big drinker and I’ve never taken any drugs or psychedelics until I tried Ayahuasca in February. As the world seems to have gone to shit in 2020, I decided to explore the human experience a little more fully during my time in Guatemala in case we never get to do anything ever again. (Drama Queen you say?) 

Bobinzana is considered plant medicine, but is very soft and subtle, like cacao. It’s basically like drinking cold tea. 

To be honest, I didn’t feel a thing and spent the entire session, or ceremony if you will, annoyed at my allergies acting up and at the amount of dust in the room. It wasn’t a great night for me. To add to my state of profound oh-for-fuck’s-sake-ness, everyone talked about their feelings for what seemed like the first two hours of the evening as I grew very, very impatient, boiling inside like “dude, there’s 12 of us here, this will take forever if you are trying to navigate through all of your life’s trauma with the group, just get to the friggin’ point already!!!”. I was basically screaming inside…Trust me, I’m working real hard on my patience!  

But then, just as I was annoyed, impatient and not able to relax, a thought came to me, which had nothing to do with the places my mind was drifting off to. 

“You claim to want to meet your soul mate, yet you are still very angry at men. You must heal for yourself, for your mother, your grandmother and all the women before you. Heal your wounds, heal your lineage.” 

Random, I thought, but interesting. 

I was then suddenly bombarded by images and memories of the men who have hurt me in the past as I grew angrier and angrier, still trying to relax with the rest of the group. These memories resurfaced until the end of the ceremony. 

When I finally got home, I decided to write down a list of all the moments when men had disappointed, hurt, offended me or let me down in any way. From the unexpected breakups to the much older men shamelessly trying to flirt with me on social media every single day (inappropriate as fuck FYI), I had A LOT of bottled-up anger, just waiting to be released. 

So, I wrote without stopping for about an hour. Yep, a full hour of male bashing… 

And then as I started feeling the exhaustion, I decided to make a new list, this time writing down all the moments men had been loving, kind, helpful and trustworthy in my life. 

Needless to say, the second list was much shorter.  

I went to bed, still upset, but completely emotionally drained. 

That’s when Bobinzana worked her magic! 

Right before waking up in the morning, I had a very vivid dream of the first guy I dated, when I was 15.  

In the dream, I deeply felt his pain from rejection while he was trying to get back together. But we were adults now, here in dreamland. That’s when it hit me: 

I have also hurt men.  

I have played my part in the dance of human suffering. I’ve never been just a victim; I’ve also let men down myself. I had simply never seen it that way…I have hurt some men, then other men have hurt me. The people are different but the teachings remain the same. 

So, I woke up and immediately wrote to my ex from when I was a teenager to apologize for dumping him without any explanation all these years ago. I wrote him that I had truly loved him, that this growing love had scared me and that I had broken up with him because my friends had made me feel pressured into having sex and I simply was not ready. Of course, 15-year-old me could not thoroughly understand or articulate these emotions at the time, so I had simply run away, like I did many more times in my life with people and situations that made me feel uncomfortable. He never knew why I had left. 

I told him that I knew this story had happened over twenty years ago but that if any part of him had been scarred or hurt from this, I sincerely apologized for my part in the matter and that I now wanted to cut all negative karma or links between us. I wished him happiness with his new family and more love than his heart could ever dream of… 

I instantly felt liberated. He answered back immediately with humor and I knew a weight had been lifted from both of our teenage and now adult shoulders. A dagger had been taken out of our hearts and the wound was ready to be healed. Thank you Bobinzana! 

I then proceeded into writing to every ex that I had unconsciously hurt or pushed away. This process was so therapeutic on both sides. I received beautiful messages of love and compassion, from most of these men who had become strangers to me. That’s when I realized that love never goes away, it simply transforms. 

I love each and every one of these men deeply. With a love that wishes them happiness and the companionship they deserve. By apologizing, it actually made it easier for me to forgive. To forgive them, myself and all of the other men who have done me wrong. If we don’t understand ourselves, how can we convey our needs to others and hold space to understand our partners as well? 

I could have only written about my own scars and tried forgiving the men in my life as I have tried to do multiple times by focusing on myself, but the real healing came from healing both sides, the masculine and the feminine. Our energies both dance together; we both fall and get back up as best we can.  

If like me, you have been hurt and still carry some underlying anger towards the opposite sex, I urge you to try this exercise. Write down your anger, then find what your mirrors are, where you’ve also played a part in the pain game. Apologize and let it go, whether you get a positive response or not. There is nothing more liberating than to acknowledge that we have control over our lives. We play both the victim and the bully at different times, whether we realize it or not. We attract the same lessons until we understand them and heal. 

Men cannot fully heal without our healing as well. Yes, we are different, but all both of us really want is to be fully loved and accepted as we are. Heal and go love yourself my friend! 

With much compassion and love, 

Karine xx 

P.S Don’t get me wrong, if you have suffered abuse, I am not encouraging you to go and apologize to your abuser! At ALL! I’m talking about the every-day basic relationship, the small drama. I’m talking about trying to understand the scars on the other side. Abusers definitely have deeply-rooted issues that have nothing to do you with. It is NOT up to you to help or save them, you can simply encourage them into therapy and self-work. You must choose YOU and leave. Find a safe space, talk to friends and family, resource groups or even the police if the relationship is dangerous and build up the courage to LEAVE. Hopefully they can do their inner work someday and come and apologize to you. If they don’t, let it go. Work on you, love yourself, stay safe and happy!

Guatemala City, April 7th, 2021 

After over 3 months, my time is San Marcos La Laguna has come to an end. For those of you who don’t know this, San Marcos is a very small Mayan village where many “gringos” come to heal, surrounded by the beauty of Lago Atitlan and its majestic volcanoes. Throughout the years, it has become home to many hippies and certain unconventional and lovely characters who felt they needed to start anew somewhere peaceful. Although there have been many unpeaceful events during my stay in this remote community (also known for its machete-armed robberies if we’re being honest), I have come to understand why many outsiders return over and over again. 

When I first got to San Marcos, I did not think I needed to heal. I had already done much work on myself through reading, therapy, sound healing, meditation and Buddhism discussion groups. I had only two things in mind: Complete the training I had already paid for pre-covid at The Yoga Forest, and escape a bit of the Canadian winter and pandemic depression. 

What I found there was much deeper.  

I won’t go through the narration of my entire journey, but I’d like to focus on the most important part, which is: 

How I wound up finding true love. 

With the exception of one or two short ship flings (working aboard cruise ships), I have been single for the past 4 years.  

I wanted to be single at first, knowing that I needed to heal my heart from a very painful breakup. Eventually I just became more and more difficult about who I wanted to let into my world and then I kind of really enjoyed my alone time… In the past year, I’ve come to realize that I was somewhat subconsciously making the choice to be single because I felt like I was a caterpillar transitioning into a butterfly and didn’t want to meet someone while I still had part of my wings stuck in the cocoon, makes sense? 

And so no one of interest for my desires came along. 

Then, on my 36th birthday, in the middle of San Marcos, something incredible happened. I fell in love.  

I fell deeply in love, you know, that unconditional and pure love, the type you don’t meet often. I fell in love…. With myself. 

About. Damn. Time!!!! 

I climbed to the top of a mountain, borrowed a beautiful sacred Mayan altar and made myself a ceremony to start off my new year in gratitude. On my own, I spent an hour chanting, praying, giving thanks and journaling to set my intention for this new year to come. The power of ceremony is something I would have laughed at over a year ago, but something about being introduced to it on this special land has made me open my heart to the teachings and embrace these ancient practices. And so as I sat there in the sun, I realized that for the first time in my life, I truly, deeply loved myself. It was the best gift I could offer myself. That life-altering decision of becoming my own best friend, of becoming my cheerleader and of taking time for me, whenever I feel like it. I had worked on it for years, but the ceremony helped me realize that I was there. In love. With me. 

During my time in Lake Atitlan, I learned to set boundaries. I learned to say no. I learned that I do not have to buy into other people’s projections and that I do not have to care about what they think of me. I learned that I can hold compassion and still say no. I discovered absolute freedom.  

Okay I also learned that I speak before I think in situations where I feel uncomfortable or guilty and that I take way too much time before setting boundaries, but instead of beating myself up for my shortcomings, I accepted the consequences of my actions, forgave myself, learned the lesson and moved on, with an intact degree of self-love. 

My friend, self-love is amazing. Whatever is holding you back from it, I urge you to find out in order to attain it faster. All the love and joy that you think a partner can bring you is actually multiplied within yourself. No one can make you happy, you must make yourself happy first. You are no one elses’s responsibility but your own. This is YOUR life, so take that power and create it the way you want to live it. I am telling you, you are the love you have been waiting for.  

Who wants to be someone’s other half anyway? I want to be complete on my own. I want to find a partner who is also complete on his own when the time is right. I want a love that is worthy of my time and energy, and believe me, it’s coming, cause once you open your heart valves, they will overflow to find and submerge that special person who is willing and ready to take it all in. Be that someone first. 

Love yourself. 

Karine xx

You don't need me to tell you that 2020 has been a difficult year, most of you have felt that already, in various forms. For some, it's been the worst year of their lives, and for a few, it's been a well needed break. For me, it's been a year to catapult my inner growth and blossom into a butterfly. Hold up now, I've still got one wing inside the cocoon, but I can see the light!

How has this year treated you? Have you taken advantage to evaluate your life, your behaviours, the people around you and how you spend your precious time on this polarized planet? If not, that's okay, you still have time. Maybe your life is perfect and nothing needs to be changed. If so, I'm happy for you! But this is for those of us for whom some, maybe even most days of the past nine months have been a struggle.

I personally went through various lockdown phases. I've had the disciplined and accepting first three months. Then I went a littles depressed and nuts for another two, then hopeful cause they lifted the lockdown for two months and I was able to start a new business in Sound Healing and Meditation, and then they took that away and I stopped believing things would get better before 2022.

Which leads me here. 

Whatever you did or did not do this year, it's alright. 

Sure, it's awesome to keep self-motivated, in the zone and to challenge yourself, but I've also found that it was in my darkest hours that I flourished, Having these "crappy" days allows you to dig deep into the root of your hidden problems, the ones you even managed to hide from yourself. If there were no darkness, when would we ever appreciate the light?

I'm proud of you. If you're here, reading this, you've survived! You've survived yourself! You've survived your worse demons! You've survived literally having all your freedoms taken away. You did it! 

Now claim your power back, take a deep breath, go and get a pen and paper and write down what it is that you truly want to manifest in your future. You've had almost a year to think about what truly matters to you, now go and get it!

Sending love and wishing you happy holidays!

Karine xx

Rawdon, Quebec, May 29, 2020

After 75 days of lockdown/quarantine, I’ve come to realize something. I am like a bird (cue Nelly Furtado song), I’ll only fly away... After feeling like I had let myself be caged for years, I took control of my life about 5 years ago and started traveling, exploring and experiencing life fully. And now, here we are caged again, this time, with no way to escape. Do you know what a bird does when you lock it into a cage? For one, it shits all over the place and makes a huge mess and secondly, if you leave it there for too long, it gets comfortable in its misery and fears what the outside world has to bring. I’m trying very hard to fight these instincts, but then maybe I do need to make a mess to initiate change. Maybe things need to be shaken up. So here we go. 

Now I’ve spent most of my time in quarantine reading spirituality and psychology books, exercising, meditating, cooking healthy meals, practicing my newfound passion for crystal singing bowls and studying mindfulness, coaching, wellness psychology and a whole bunch of things online. I’ve made good use of this time and I’ve actually even felt blessed to have this opportunity for deep introspection. It’s been great, mostly. 

But you know what else it has been? It’s been frustrating. It’s given me time to see the brokenness of the world even closer, to realize that over 90% of people live in fear (totally invented statistic by the way), that people prioritize the wrong things and that I am not even slightly happy or content with the way the world is. Actually, I’m disgusted would be a better term. I just want to break the cage, go out there and start a revolution and I am certain that I am not alone. 

In a way, we’ve all been living in cages, being fed what the media and corrupted systems give us, and living in fear of what would happen if we escaped. Now I’m not going to start with any conspiracy theories but I need to express my views because it is too important to keep inside, it’s time to make that mess and dump all over that cage. It feels so hypocritical to me for governments to allow people to poison themselves with cigarettes, alcohol, fast food, and polluted air for example, all proven to lead to cancer and other diseases, but then for these same governments to forbid us from leaving our counties/cities/homes because a virus has so far killed approximately 1% of the reported cases. But of course, they make money by selling us medication and health care, letting us kill ourselves slowly, which in the end is profitable for them. These same flawed governments allow huge corporations to destroy entire forests, killing every living being in these forests including animals going extinct, to pollute our oceans with excessive dumping of plastic, toxic waste, ridiculously gigantic ships, etc, allow them to knowingly pollute the air we breathe, dig deep into the earth and deplete it of its minerals and let over 9 million people worldwide starve to death every year, while we have more food than we could possibly ever need in North America. The police kills black men without reason, countries are plagued with racism and judgment, kids shoot kids in schools multiple times a year, terrorist attacks have been growing in popularity in the last few years, people commit suicide through depression, we torture animals growing in unthinkably awful conditions to eat them without remorse, we close our eyes upon every fucked up thing going on in the world yet we shut down every border and service because of a virus that could kill wealthier people in wealthier countries. That’s what it looks like to me. 

Doesn’t this all seem messed up to you? Doesn’t it seem wrong? Hypocritical? Absolutely frustrating? Would you please enlighten me if I’m wrong, but aren’t we simply putting more stress on people and doing more harm than good? Why aren’t we teaching people how to boost their immune systems and control their minds to create healing into their bodies? These techniques have been proven to work, so why are we keeping people in fear of each other, hence creating even more separation when we should UNITE and care for each other? Why aren’t we given the right to exercise our free will? Why aren’t we protecting the elderly or weaker populations and letting the others live their lives and make their own choices?  Why aren’t we fixing pressing matters while the world is stopped, like protecting our environment? Don’t we know that without natural resources, humanity will die? Why aren’t we treating the most threatening of viruses, which are human intolerance, hatred, lack of empathy, lack of compassion, lack of education? Why aren’t we teaching kids to love, to meditate, to keep the amazing self-esteem they were born with and that we’ve taken away from them? Why aren’t we focusing on building a better world where everyone can win? 

The good news is that by seeing the way most governments have quickly handled the COVID-19 situation, we know that if they choose to, they can react magnificently and efficiently towards protecting the environment and our long-term health. I know world leaders do their best, but this “best” needs to step up to the next level. 

I’m aware that this post will frustrate a lot of people. I know some of you will think I should stick to singing, but my job as an artist is to bring awareness and to change the world for the better. Why else would I sing? I would be doing my role a great disservice by keeping these pressing matters silent. I’ve kept silent for too long by fear of not being loved or being judged and this fear has cost me too much pain. I now need to be set free of my own censorship and express my deepest opinions because I cannot wait for things to change on their own. We all need a little push. I know my words and intentions will be misunderstood. I care for people, I truly do. But I care about the planet even more, because without taking care of our beautiful giving planet, there is no way for the human race to survive. So while we’re sitting in our cages waiting on the world to change and listening to John Mayer, wouldn’t it be a good idea to start by changing ourselves, by changing our ways and our thoughts? SO WHAT if you don’t agree with me, or with your neighbor? Can’t you just agree to disagree without holding a grudge? Can’t you just move on without judging? Can’t we just all choose to be kind and loving? THAT is our true nature. LOVE is what we are born into, yet we let society, religion and every broken person convince us of their twisted views and we adopt their fears because if we can’t trust what these sources say, then who can we trust? Here’s the answer; trust your intuition. That little voice inside that tells you what you truly believe and know to be true. You don’t have to agree with me, but if deep down my words resonate, make the shift now by changing for the better, starting with the love you bring to yourself. 

We all do bad things without being conscious of it. Not many of us intend on hurting people, we all think we’re right, doing things for the greater good. But I’m going to ask you this one thing. Just one thing. 

Can you vow to open your eyes, heart and mind and start being conscious of the way you live? Can you realize that by consuming products that have palm oil, you’re contributing to deforestation and the extinction of species such as orang-utans, that by buying extra electronic gadgets you don’t need, you’re encouraging mining into the ground often by kids and teenagers paid pennies in third world countries, depleting the soil of its precious and necessary resources? Can you realize that by buying anything that uses plastic, it will wind up in the ocean, choking turtles and marine life and eventually end up in the fish you and the next generations will consume making you sick? Can you take responsibility while you’re home, safely sitting on your couch possibly judging me for not “caring” about a virus? 

Now I’m saying this with kindness, a bit of tough love, and I’m saying it to myself, when I have a candy bar craving and must remind myself that it’s toxic for my body and that it contains palm oil and encourages big corporations to get richer by making us sicker and that the plastic will wind up choking an animal somewhere. Intense, right? Intense, but URGENT. 

Such is the truth. And we have a choice. We can stay in our cages with our eyes closed and pretend that we’re doing a lot of saving lives while not doing anything at all, or we can break free and change the world by changing our ways, one day at a time, being conscious of everything we do and its impact on the planet. I don’t want to be the bird who gets comfortable. I don’t want to fear what the outside world has to bring. This comfort isn’t right. We must start this revolution. I want to trust in myself and trust in you, fellow human to create a better and brighter world, where we put our planet’s needs first and exercise kindness towards all beings, yes, all of us from the plants to aliens in the universe. We are all one. We come from the same source, no matter what our beliefs are. Let’s be kinder to each other. 

Share the light. Be the light. Raise your voice. 

Xx

Photo taken in Bergen, Norway, 2017