Rawdon, Easter April 2019
I've felt like an outsider as long as I can remember. I've felt like I didn't belong within my own family, at school, with many of the friends I've made along the way, in relationships, in my own province, town, towns to be honest, cities, even with some of my own music. There have been these short moments where I've been lucky enough to get a glimpse of what it feels like to be in the right place at the right time, but I can count these moments on one hand.
I've come to understand that many artists feel like outsiders. I often get overwhelmed by all the emotions that flood over me as an empath. on top of it all, I was born with a strong environmental conscience and a vivid desire for justice. Everything to make life easy right? ;) Recognize yourself?
So what does one do when one feels like an outsider? Here's my advice to all you passionate big hearted loners like me.
It took me many years to understand how I was feeling and why. Let me save you a bit of time, you are different, and that is okay. You may be prone to depression because the world has always weighed heavy on your shoulders, and that's alright. You want to save everything and everyone, all the seals and the dolphins and the trees, elephants, orphans and orangutangs and that's beautiful. But love, you gotta let all of that weight go. Saving the world starts with yourself. Now I know you've been making all of the necessary efforts and cautioning people about their actions and taking part of marches and donating to foundations and all and I do deeply love and respect you for it, even though you may be tired of fighting for what seems like a lost cause that no one cares about, but you do. You care and so do I.
But I also care about you. About your well being. It is imperative that you learn to keep your compassionate heart in quick repair mode. It will break every time you hear about another disaster, natural or man-made. You must learn to heal quickly in order to keep shining your light and continue spreading love into the world. We need you, but YOU need to be happy and free first. It's not up to you to change the world. But it's up to you to change yourself, to be the best version of yourself you can possibly be! Don't be one of the many who waste their lives, I beg of you, don't play the victim. Staying in a state of sadness and darkness will dim your light and will not do you or the world any good, so please gentle soul, learn to heal.
I've stayed in the darkness for years, until I realized it was enough and that yes, I was allowed to be happy in a shitty world full of hate and superficiality. My survival depended on it and so does yours.
How did I achieve such happiness you may ask? Well first, let's be clear, it's a journey I'm still on, fighting every single day. I've never been your typical happy person, but I've vowed to try. What helps? Prayer, meditation, devotion. It's all the same to me. Every time disaster strikes, I sob like a child for a few minutes thinking how terrible this world is and how I must have been a terrible angel to be sent down here as a punishment, and then, after my egotistical psychosis episode has passed, I close my eyes, I take a few deep breaths and I imagine a world of peace. I envision my life as I want it, I visualize the planet as I know it can be (possibly in a billion years if we've survived!). I immediately start feeling grateful. I suddenly remember I am loved, we are all loved and LOVE itself, and I take all of that love and spread it back out into the Universe. Meditation helps me remember we are one. The trees, the rivers, the stars, the sky, even the people who do horrible things, we are one and the same. Contemplation is another way to get there. If you don't live in cold Canada, you can sit by a river, in a garden, in tour backyard, by a tree, anywhere outdoors really, and feel the same connection to the Earth. Nature has the most incredible healing properties. Devotion doesn't necessarily mean spending your time praying to a certain God, but it can be devoting yourself to taking control of the things you can, like how you feed your body and your mind, what you do to help others. This will give you a sense of "control" and allow you to fuel up on energy to prepare for the road ahead.
Peace is accessible to every single one of us, if we cultivate it within ourselves. It is definitely a journey and not an overnight feeling, but try it and you will never want to go back to feeling sorry for yourself and others again. Do you want to come with me on that journey and help show the corrupted a**holes of the world that love will always win? (Just kidding I love everyone including the a**holes, they need love the most!) Keep in mind that a single ray of light can outshine any darkness.
And so my warrior activist, social ninja, god and /or goddess of healing and love and light, remember to take care of yourself. Don't wait 34 years to figure it out like myself. Remember we all do belong here on this Earth, with the people we are surrounded by who may not understand us. They don't have to, just keep setting a positive example, heal yourself and you'll slowly see this transformation impacting everyone around you.
Be love. Be light.
Special thoughts go out to the people of Sri Lanka tonight and all the victims of the bombings and their families. May you all find peace.