Kali, Great Mother of Transformation

May 22nd, 2022 , Ste-Anne-des-Lacs, Quebec

 

Ever get to the point where you are so over it all that you just know something’s gotta change? Let me ruin your moment here with this unfortunate spoiler alert: nothing has to chance except for YOU. You got yourself into this mess just as I did and you’re the only one who can get yourself out of it…BUT, you as I can ask for Divine help… Let me diver deeper into this for a moment… 

I’m sitting in bed with no electricity, it’s been over 36 hours and there aren’t any signs of it returning any time soon… Yet instead of indulging in the beauty of this candlelit peaceful moment, I’ve been having an anxiety attack and eating all the worse processed foods you can think of, which I’m ashamed to say I used to binge eat for years before cleaning up my act. (Yep, this wannabe vegan has trouble keeping it clean and organic sometimes but that’s a whole other childhood story). So here I am binging away. I gotta tell you, it’s not a pretty picture. It’s an old habit I thought I’d gotten rid of thanks to yoga, mindfulness and meditation, yet as I’m stressed and pondering questions like “where on Earth do I want to be in this life and if I'm on the right path, why am I still living in some guy's basement”, I’m sitting here with a big angry belly absolutely in shock at this violent attack after being kind to it for so long and I’m thinking: here we go again, WTF, why can’t I just DEAL with my emotions like a nun or a monk or an emotionally healthy person would do? Why is it so hard? 

Well, cause we’re not monks or nuns and quite frankly most of us have not learned to be emotionally healthy until we were well into adulthood… We live out here in the big bad world and we have to deal with constant stress and disappointment every day and it gets heavy love, mainly if you’re a perfectionist, I hear you. But how we deal with the constant pressures of this world is also our choice…It’s our choice alone. 

I’ve been hiding behind Netflix for a while not wanting to have this talk with myself. How have you been avoiding your existential crisis? We can use many techniques including alcohol, drugs, entertainment, social media, tv (Netflix), sex, food, extensive sports, all sorts of outlets to numb the pain we absolutely don’t want to feel… So much so that we begin to forget it’s actually even there. We forget where it lies in our body as we simply disconnect until we don’t feel it anymore, as it grows beneath the surface. 

So tonight, after my disgraceful binging episode, I picked out an oracle card and heard the message so loud and clear that my entire body trembled as an electric-type shock went through my heart space. KALI, the Goddess of transformation reached out for me to call upon her. Think of Kali as the mother who loves you so much that she knows when you need tough love. She can cut things completely from your life to put you back on track. It is said not to invoke Kali unless you are absolutely ready for change, cause the change might not be gentle, but will ultimately bestow its blessings upon your life…But you know…with a good kick in the butt first! 

I wish to share with you the automatic writing that came through to me after pulling out her card and creating a ritual invoking and celebrating her with fire. 

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Kali, I shall celebrate you, Divine Mother, along with the changes and storms of deep transformation like death and rebirth that you represent, for I must be born again. Like the snake, it is time for me to shed new skin. I call upon you Mother for this process is never-ending. I am willing to accept its cyclic nature therefore I shall humbly bow down to your command and accept a new stage of deep transformation in my life. 

“Burn it all away, Kali, burn it all away. If it doesn’t serve us, then burn it all away”… 

I am ready, oh great MOTHER to cry, to scream, to release and let go all of my past and present. I am ready to dance with my beating drum to the rhythm of the winds of change you carry. I will look deeply and fearlessly into the fire and let it take away old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve me. I shall rejoice and sing, knowing that in your presence, I am constantly born again. 

Invoking Kali is like finally saying “FUCK IT!” after you’ve been holding on for too long. Holding on to a habit, to a way of being, an idea, a person, a job, a home, a friend, love affair, a dream or anything that is now hindering your growth and no longer meant for you. You must make space and empty out the closet before filling it up with beautiful new garments. Kali will help you make that necessary space. Invoking her is like ripping off the band-aid and allowing your wound to breathe, preparing or the last phases of healing to begin, freely. She will bring you where you need to be if you truly SURRENDER and accept Her way. Remember she is doing this out of Love FOR you. Sometimes, we must walk through the darkness to reach the brightest light. Explore your shadows dear one, sit with the pain without numbing it, dive deep into yourself and observe the root cause of all your suffering and then, just as Mother Kali kisses your forehead, exhale and let everything go! You are here right now. That is all you need. TRUST. 

To reach your highest potential and get to the best, you must let go of what isn’t, no matter how difficult it is to abandon. Once you’ve let go of your fears and faced the ways in which you are holding yourself back and keeping yourself small, you can start claiming and bringing in all that was truly meant to you. What belongs to you by Divine Right as a child of the Great One. 

“Bring it all in, Kali, bring it all in. If it’s gonna serve us then bring it all in”. 

Observe. Surrender. Heal. Transform… 

With love, 

Karine xx

 

Photo credit: Julien André Mégoz (used under authorization) 

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